A guest post from Ann Favreau:

My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2021. Living with dementia is difficult for the one experiencing it as well as for the caregiver.

I was aware that I couldn’t change the situation, but I learned that I could reframe it. I had to look at it differently. I tried to examine my behavior and modify it to make my husband’s days as peaceful as possible.

Did I succeed? Not always.

When I would get upset, I’d try to take a deep breath and think about my response before blurting out a negative one.

Finding Joy

I needed to find joy in this dementia journey. I turned to poetry to do that.

As I wrote poems, I found it very cathartic. I examined my day to determine if I was experiencing any joy.

I’ve learned that pleasure and joy can come from simple everyday things.

Here’s a poem I wrote about finding joy “in the in between.” I hope my reflections help other caregivers.

The In Between

Can I find joy in the in between
The time each day that’s seen
As being aware of the world?

Does the sunrise stir my soul
As I pour milk into the bowl
Of day’s inauguration?

Do I start the many chores
Leaving little time to pore
Or use my imagination?

Before I know, it’s afternoon.
Tasks undone abound and soon
I’ve run out of ambition.

Time to pause and read a book.
Story language, that’s the hook
To lift my sagging spirits.

Sunset heralds in the night.
Has joy become an oversight
Slipping into oblivion?

No, it’s been present all along
In floral scent and bird’s sweet song
Despite his lack of conversation.

A quiet prayer and lively tune
Intercepted afternoon
Without my realization.

The in between’s been filled with joy.
Happiness’ uplifting buoy
Has brought me satisfaction.

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Ann Favreau is a retired educator. She is a member of the Florida Writers Association and the Florida State Poets Association.

Here is a link to purchase her latest book, “The Dementia Spiral,” on Amazon. In 24 poignant poems, she reflects on the impact of dementia on her husband and on herself as the primary caregiver. Songs & Smiles is part of the Amazon Associates program, so we may receive a small commission if you purchase items after clicking on this link.